I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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