I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
