love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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