Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
