Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My vagina just clenched in fear
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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