You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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