Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize