I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
