Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
