At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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