So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
