and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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