So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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