i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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