Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
BRING THE BAGELS
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
