Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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