Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
