i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize