I'm gonna have a badass scar
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
