I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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