If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
