Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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