Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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