piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
