Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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