clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
