I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
