Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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