Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
dude. I can hear the air.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
