oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize