..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
