You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
