I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
