I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize