you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
