so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
