Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
