Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
