I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
