the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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