I'm going to jail i love you
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
