i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
