another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize