Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
