Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
