Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
