I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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