The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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