i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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