do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
