I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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