They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
