I wish my penis had an off switch
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Damn victory sex feels great
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
