Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
