Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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