I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
