Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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