I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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