I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
