Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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