My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
